Catching Up With Myself

The beginning of the school year in front of Tall Oaks Montessori School. Shayna is 6y6m, Maya is 1y23m, and Elijah is 4y7m.

(I’m flying over western Oregon watching the sunrise.)

We returned from Israel to a flurry of day camps and swimming lessons for the big kids, missed a good friend’s Colorado wedding but still hope to see the brides before married life becomes commonplace for them, finally enjoyed a slow week with a visit from Grandma Melinda, then Shayna took the bus on August 11 to start 1^st grade. Melinda was finally able to leave most of her work behind and gave the kids her most grandma-esk visit ever plus helped me make a pair of pants, twice, for Shayna. The younger two and I said good by to her on the same day school took Shayna from us. Fortunately, everyone parted with joy and gratitude, looking back on a wonderful visit and new adventures to come.

(I’m loving the way some cloud wisps are curved over the mountains.)

August also brought the responsibilities of my new job in earnest. Around the close of spring, I accepted the Religious School Director position at the Blacksburg Jewish Community Center (BJCC) upon one of my best friends’ vacating it as her family moved to Austin, TX following a new job for her husband. During the school year, the BJCC runs a small Sunday morning school for preschoolers through Bar/Bat Mitzvot (6^th/7^th grade) teaching about Jewish tradition, culture and history based on the Bible and begins teaching Hebrew in Kindergarten in preparation for the children’s Bar/Bat Mitzvot using a handful of wonderful college students as teachers. I was skeptical of the school until we started Shayna in Kindergarten last year and then was amazed at how much Jewishness and tradition it added to our home. Since this is how we want to raise our children, culturally Jewish, it was obvious I needed to step up to take on the responsibility of the school. While I had no misconceptions about my inability to fill Leslie’s shoes, I have enjoyed the flying leap out of my comfort zone the position has required. I’m still amazed with what Elijah and Shayna gain from the lessons. Shayna seems to want to know everything about everything so it stimulates new questions and topics of discussion with her and she seems to be picking up Hebrew easily as well. It’s incredible to listen to her read and progress in a new language.

Rainy Sukkah decorating at the Religious school.

Maya started pre-preschool at Tall Oaks Montessori at the end of August. (It’s where all our children have gone with Elijah currently in his last year there.) After the first couple weeks of adjustment and germ exposure (they had 5 or 6 sick days between them in the first 10 of school), both Maya and Elijah are thriving. Maya loves greeting each person she sees in the morning and being with the eight other little people in her classroom. Her favorite buddy seems to be the little brother of Elijah’s best friend at that age. Luckily for the teachers, these two don’t run around each other like squirrels the way the older two did, and still sometimes do. Elijah has stopped all crying about going to school, a power trip he tortured Nahum with for most of the previous year, and even takes some responsibility with Maya by walking her to her room on days I don’t have time to park and walk them in. (Having a little sister has been a boon for Elijah as it pushes him outside himself in the need to respond to and care for another person.) While Maya assembles puzzles, builds Lego towers and sorts plastic apples, Elijah has decided to learn to read and explore every work associated with numbers in his classroom, which includes the two preschool classes and kindergarten. Through the end of Shayna’s last preschool year, she still preferred to paint, draw and work in the life-skills area of the room. While Elijah has also brought home two world maps, one pencil colored and the other painted, the vast majority of his work is numbers and now some letters as well. Maya continues the tradition of each of my children being uniquely and definitively their own person. It is a joy to be on this journey of self-discovery with each of them. The bonus is that they all still love and like each other and enjoy each other’s company.

(I’m beginning my 4 hour wait at Denver International Airport.)

Maya turned 2-years-old one month and 10 days ago (October 6). She entertained the others by saying “cake!” to every birthday question they could ask. We had a little party that had friends for all the kids and adults. She has continued to blossom as an independent and opinionated little person. She likes to play teasing word games and joke around with me. She follows her brother and sister in their jump-off-the-bed and chase games and plays with water every chance she gets (don’t ever give her a full cup of water). She has been out of diapers for over a month now without any nighttime accidents. I was able to donate all the nicely packaged diapers we had accumulated over the years and thus happily begin the clearing of baby stuff from our house.

Nahum submitted his sabbatical request almost two weeks ago as one of the first steps in our attempt to spend the next school year in Haifa, Israel. Nahum would work at the Technion, concentrating on his research. Shayna would be in a regular Israeli public school for 2^nd grade, or kita Bet. Kindergarten is still in a separate school and is more like kindergarten should be but it will most likely be a public school as well for Elijah. We would like to find a home daycare type place Maya could go to a few mornings a week to be surrounded by the language. The goal is for everyone to be fluent in Hebrew by the end of our stay. I should be picking up my studying again in the next month or so since it will take more for this old brain to learn a new language. We’re all very excited but there are still many, many things to do to make a year in Israel possible.

I had my first kid-free vacation, just a long weekend in Eugene, OR but still a long overdue break. Thank you Aaron for marrying the lovely Brandy this weekend so I could have a solid reason to get away. It was a beautiful, intimate ceremony. I was hooked up with wonderful friends of theirs as hosts that put up my two married parents as well. It was great to spend so much time with Michael and Melind. I also got a big dose of time with my mom Carole in a long walk along the Willamette River and to reconnect a bit with my odd but fun aunts and uncles. I met Brandy for the first time and her incredible daughter. It took me 36hrs before I started to relax but after that I could feel the tension and worry of everyday life with three small kids begin roll off of me. I knew the stress weighed me down but it has been eye-opening just how much it does. I am now working out ways to hold onto some of this peace.

Visiting with Saba and Savta

Maya cuddles talks with Saba Dov.

Nahum is working at the Technion in Haifa yesterday and today so the kids and I are without a car. (We're staying in an apartment in Kfar Saba, the village Nahum's parents live.) We spent a lot of yesterday walking around and playing at different playgrounds (they're plentiful here as are walking paths between streets). Today Dov and Lea came to visit us in the morning after we spent the non-sunburning hours at the closest park. The kids love showing off for Saba and Savta. Maya takes the cake with her goofy grins and playful cuddles but Elijah did melt Savta's heart with his kisses (one for each cheek) and big hug greeting. It was to hard to get a good picture of them all together but I did get a few with Maya and her Israeli grandparents.

I also let them watch a little tv this morning. Maya doesn't let me get away with much as she gets bored after 5-10 minutes and I have to be a responsible parent again. (The tv in the apartment doesn't have a dvd player attached and I didn't bring the cables to attach our portable player so the kids watch on the little tiny screen.)

Dov took a few pictures of us at his pool earlier this week. My phone is my camera so it's a little tricky to use for an 86-year-old. Still, I think we have a few good shots showing Elijah actually "swimming." It looks more like barely not drowning but we're all quite proud of him and he thinks he's amazing. (Shayna and Elijah took a week long swim class at the Blacksburg pool two weeks before coming to Israel.) None of them want to wear water wings as Shayna wants to be able to dive under water, Elijah just wants to be under his own power and Maya feels the same from her perch on the steps.

While Shayna is in the center of these pictures, the series depicts Elijah's new skills as he dives off the wall and swims around Shayna to the steps.

 On the left, Shayna spends time underwater without holding her nose, one of the few bad things she learned from watching Curious George. I outlawed it starting with the swim class and she proudly rose to the challenge. On the right, Shayna swims from the wall to Nahum and Elijah swims from the stair's pole to the wall while Maya climbs on the stairs.

 Maya bobs in the water on her steps.

 This is as close as we've gotten recently to getting all five of us in one pictures.

I have been practicing my Hebrew as much as I can. It takes a lot of bravery I don't usually have since I'm guaranteed to always get something wrong. Maya is starting to recognize a lot of words and even says some things in hebrew, like cat, fish, moon, and water. It's fun how quickly she picks things up; though, I hope my butchering the language regularly won't cause too many problems later on.

I'll close with this video of Shayna's and my new teeter totter trick: the teeter-totter balance beam. She and I can both make it across regularly; thought it's still a tricky trick.

When Grandma Comes to Town

Carole and Maya read "Doggies" for the 26th time.

There have been many enjoyable grandparent visits during my blogging absence. Our latest one ended today when Maya, Elijah and I put Grandma Carole on the SmartWay Bus to the Roanoke Airport this morning. There were no tears but their was much sighing by Elijah about wishing "Grandma Carole could stay forever" and wishing "Grandma Kathy was here right now" and wondering how long he had to wait before Kathy and Grandpa Michael visit.

For my part, I love taking advantage of having physically fit grandparents visit. Carole helped immensely with my raised bed renovation with dirt moving, 8'x4'x1' raised-bed installation, deconstruction of existing beds, and salvaging with reconstruction. In between all the digging and heavy lifting, Carole read Maya's favorite book "Doggies" (a dog counting and barking book by Sandra Boynton) many times a day (Maya says, "Aah, Aah, Aah?" for dog while she helps find the book or helpfully shoves the book into your person in case you missed the hint she wants it read.) and generally kept track of Maya while we were outside anywhere. Maya in turn helped Carole haul my garden grass clippings around the house to the compost bin, stopping to admire the wonderful contents of the bin with each visit. Carole played trains with Elijah, read with both big kids, and "watch this"'ed while they road bikes up and down the front path, neighbor's long drive and the grass hill to the other neighbor's driveway. We managed a visit to the Roanoke Transportation Museum with the littles and have a bikes and 'burgers lunch at the Heathwood Pond with all three. (Elijah continues to master all things biking and Shayna has improved her control and comfort dramatically over the last two weeks.) Carole even managed to save Passover Seder on Friday as I made a last minute dash to the pediatrician with Shayna for an ear infection at 4:30pm with dinner prep in full swing and guests expected at 5:30. Nahum pitched in once he arrived home and promptly put David to work once David, Laura, Genny, and Claire arrived. We managed to sit down to a delicious, festive Seder celebration by 6:30 with a truly wonderful evening had by all.

Shayna's liver numbers have been improving over the last four weeks with one concerning check two weeks ago that interfered with her prednisone weaning. Yesterday's numbers were stellar so we get to drop another 5mg of prednisone and move to only having a morning dose. Currently, the prednisone makes Shayna over enthusiastic about everything, a bit hyper all the time, not good with impulse control and cry uncontrollably at the slightest perceived insult which isn't that bad considering other people's experiences but I am ready to have normal Shayna back. Luckily, her belly stopped hurting too much after we increased the pepcid dose three days into treatment; however, she does have a steroid moon face and round belly. We have had to work hard keeping her hunger under control. We were advised to keep her on a diabetic diet while on prednisone since it interferes with blood sugar management leading to a prolonged elevated blood sugar level ("no white food" per Dr. Berry). Shayna is looking forward to the family pizza party we will take to the Mellow Mushroom once she has been weaned off the prednisone and to losing her moon face as she doesn't like her "squishy" cheeks.

Other notable happenings: We stopped Elijah and Shayna's Thursday gymnastics classes and will be adding a Monday modern dance class for both on the 20th. When Maya was helping me make scrambled eggs with cheese this weekend, I asked her to bring me two bowls. She climbed down, walked over to the kids dishes, picked out two bowls and brought them back to me. She turned 18-months-old yesterday. I haven't gotten my seasonal allergies yet that I've had for the three years prior. Nahum will finish his "March madness" with the submittal of three proposals Friday at 8pm. We will all be very happy to have him home again in the evenings.

Opening Easter eggs. Maya doesn't like candy but she loves to open the eggs to discover their contents so Carole put one Cheerio in each egg, load the basket, Maya enthusiastically opens each egg, then hunts down the Cheerio as it always came flying out of the egg to eat. I think they played this 2-3 times that morning.

The obligatory surprised-Carole-eating picture I always seem to get and sisters enjoying breakfast (it melts my heart to see how much those girls love each other).

Elijah riding down the hill to Micky's driveway, because that's what every responsible mother should teach their barely 4-year-old to do. A week later he taught Shayna and now they both come racing up the drive way and down the grass hill.

My raised beds before Carole and I began work.

Carole after our first afternoon of work.

Carole, Maya and I watched the kids race around the backyard after we all watched the rain storm on the back deck.

 A wonderful Seder.

"Will someone push me all ready!"

"Look at all that amazing, rotting food!"

Elijah and Shayna bike around the pond while Carole and Maya eat lunch on a park bench.

Saying "good-bye" to Grandma Carole.

Our next grandparent arrives on the 23rd. What awesome projects will I have planned then?

Cheated and Determined

It's hard facing this again: rejection. It's hard because I feel like the last five years without was a cheat or that I was cheated because it was a trick to a false sense of security. It's been nearly five years since Shayna's last official rejection and four since we really had to work hard for her health. There's no reason for this rejection; it just is and it just sucks. (By "reason" I mean there really is no medically known or even guessed at reason for her to be in rejection; it just happens.) It also sucks because Shayna gets a real taste of the hand she's been dealt. I get to begin to teach my precious, precocious, beautiful, brilliant, spunky, creative six-year-old just how delicate a balance her life can be. (She sang a song on the way home from Pittsburgh about how she wished she had never needed a liver transplant.) We talk a lot. We keep it at her level but we also don't hide from any of it. With all this, that old fire has been rekindled: I will do anything for my child. I remembered the determination I used to have and wondered, since I didn't feel it as much recently, was something wrong with me? No. I just didn't need it. Now I need it again so it's back. I am determined to do anything for this child to give her as healthy, strong, and full a life I can.

We have labs tomorrow and at least every week as we hope to begin weaning her from the steroid prednisone. It's only been a day, but she already needs less sleep and more food. I'm going to start a Tuesday lab day routine next week so I hope we'll be able to begin weaning by then. Otherwise, Shayna is happy and feels no worse for wear. After riding bikes out front with Elijah today, she played with Maya in the back yard, "chasing" her around, both of them laughing. Shayna's face was also beaming with pride when she spotted Nahum and I smiling at them from the window.

From a warm week a month ago, but so appropriate for today.

A Day of Firsts

Shayna started Kindergarden today at Kipps Elementary School with an 8AM bus boarding.  We got a late start on the day but made it out front with 30 seconds to spare before bus #17 came around the corner. Shayna and her friend Amanda climbed aboard without a backward glance. After a few minutes of indecision, I put Elijah and Maya in the car to meet the bus at school to get a few more pictures of Shayna on her first day. I was in luck when she got off her bus first and again when I peaked into her classroom 5 minutes later. Shayna was sitting at her desk studiously working on whatever drawing project the teacher had asked her to do. I am so proud of how she has embraced this next step in life. Her attitude has also made it much easier on me. It was hard watching my baby mark off to Kindergarden.

Amanda's three-year-old brother Ben met the bus with us this morning so Elijah asked Ben's nanny if Ben could stay to play now that the girls were gone. We made plans for a playdate after my visit to school which quickly morphed into a movie date when some other friends invited Ben to $1 movie at the local Cinema. Alaina took Ben and Elijah to their first movie on the big screen: Turbo, about a snail who wants to race. Apparently, the boys got bored half way through and started playing instead of watching the movie.

Waiting for the coming bus with Amanda, and Nahum, Ben and Elijah as spectators.

She didn't even look back and luckily Elijah didn't cry. In fact, he says he's ready for Kindergarten too.

I love the I got her getting off the bus at school. I got to give her a hug before she went inside.

Shayna, already hard at work, didn't even notice me.

Elijah was rewarded for his morning patience with his first donut hole while I met some more people at Shayna's school

Maya, who is 10-months and 1-week-old, has become quite the little adventurer. I think she'll take her first unassisted steps by next Monday. Her first day involved stairs. I was putting away groceries in the house and garage when she decide she didn't want to crawl around the garage anymore. She climbed up all three steps unassisted. I turned around to find her happily climbing into the house. Luckily, she still won't attempt to go down yet.

Aug 2: Maya enjoyed watching Shayna in the sand box while I did some garden work.

Aug. 7: Maya enjoys some corn on the cob. She doesn't eat much of anything but she enjoys trying everything.

A Magical Soggy Day

It's been raining since last night so I knew the kids would not be getting outside at school today. I went to get them early with the intention of going to the pool but Maya and I ended up staying for song time with Elijah's class. Maya was a distraction for the little kids as they all want to sit next to her and pet her but we were able to enjoy some fine ukulele playing and singing by Ms. Rachel anyway. Unfortunately, we ran out of time to swim so we stopped at Heathwood pond to look for puddles.

The grass had many but the the highlight was the feeder and drainage creeks.  The feeder creek had over flowed it's banks so all four of us stomped in the grassy creek with Elijah and Shayna venturing into the deeper, muddier, main creek parts. While they ran and splashed, Maya and I went on looking for more fun and found our first baby geese of the season.  The four of us checked out the four goslings napping on the path around the pond near the sand volley ball court and found more puddles in the sand. Maya loved this new experience with the wet sand squishing between her toes as she made her hop-stomping attempts. We then followed the drainage creek down the hill to the little forested area at the end of the grassy field. This was where I really wished I had my camera, or even my phone which I had left at home. Watching the kids run on the soft green grass over hung by wet, dripping trees was beautiful. Shayna and Elijah hopped into the creek and followed it around a couple corners while Maya enthusiatically hung by her armpits to do her hop-stomping in another muddy puddle.

It was not the wet fun I had intended but it was wonderful to just play and explore with my kids while the sky softly dripped.

Since I did not have a camera today, here are some pictures from Saturday where we, yet again, went out in the rain. That time to the farmers market where we found ice cream and puddles.

We made a few people's day with our 7-month-old baby happily hop-stomping in the puddle.

Life with Maya

Nov. 15: checking out the neighborhood construction with all my kiddos.

It would be hard to make life with Maya any better.  From the second she was born, she has been a magical little one in every way possible.  It started with her not having any medical conditions.  To have been blessed with a healthy and medically un-needy child is beyond our wildest dreams, and something I was beginning to wonder might be just a figment of our imagination.

Shayna loved Maya from the moment she knew Maya existed in my belly.  That love only grew stronger when we brought Maya home.  Shayna lays on the floor next to Maya singing Shayna songs about joining our family, growing up, and learning.  Elijah preferred the ignore it and it will go away approach but after watching Shayna for a few days, he decided that loving on Maya was a much better thing.  He's even sung a few songs to Maya in Shayna fashion.

Maya has been all one could ask for in a baby.  She nurses well but hasn't gained weight like she wants to be a sumo wrestler so carrying her is still easy.  She sleeps easily.  In fact, Shayna would tell me, "can't you wake that baby up so I can see her eyes," or, "let's call her Sleepy not Maya." She yells at me when something is bothering her (hungry, tired, wet).  (In fact, she loves getting her diaper changed.)  As soon as the problem is fixed, she's back to her mellow self.

She's given me recognition smiles since birth and started with social smiles around five-weeks-old.  She started to do little laughs at 10-weeks which she saves mainly for me or her mobile.  When I put her under her mobile, she either gasps with joy or does a little internal-style chuckle and grins with anticipation just before I turn it on.  When she's dry, fed, and rested, she can't decide who she loves more Shayna or me as her whole body lights up when we come to talk with her.  She's been delightfully cooing back to us for the last three weeks.  Nothing makes my heart lighter than a conversation with Maya.

It's been a dream for me to relax and enjoy this baby time as it goes so fast.  At this point I was still enjoying Shayna I'm sure but what followed has left those memories as only fleeting glimpses.  At this point with Elijah, I was still heavily traumatized by his birth and heart-monitoring needs and I was sinking into my own pit of heavy depression so my main memories are of the slog life was to me.  With Maya, I'm relaxed and happy so am able to bask in the glow of new life.  Yes, the days are a little frantic with three kids to keep track of but we started with lots of help in the form of visiting grandparents.  Since then, Nahum has been great about taking the other kids in the evening so I can care for Maya.  For instance on Sunday, Maya was having a rough afternoon so after dinner she and I went to take a bath.  We fully relaxed in the warm water while she lay on my chest.  We had some great conversations, beautiful smiles and even a few little laughs while Nahum played with Shayna and Elijah and their new toys from the Solstice Fairies (that's for another blog).  Maya and I also have a few hours each morning to ourselves as the big kids are both in preschool.  I've been so relaxed I started Elimination Communication with Maya at six-weeks (something I thought impossible).  We only do it when it feels natural and I'm not stressed so she's reacted wonderfully.  We still have more misses than catches most days and I don't leap out of bed at night to take her potty.  If I catch her signals before she's wet, we get a catch.  If not, she gets a fresh diaper.  I haven't quite figured out what to do in the grocery store but I am getting braver about setting her on her potty in front of friends.

On Sunday, Maya was 11-weeks-old.  To celebrate, she found her fingers on the hand she has been chewing all week.  It was so cute to watch her suck her little fingers like Shayna did at that age.  I also got proof of my suspicions about her excessive hand chewing and drooling, my sweet baby is teething.  She has two little bumps rising on her bottom gums in the front.  That also explains her fussy evening.  Thank goodness she found her hand.

Nov. 27: Elijah and Shayna on their own in the pool for the first time. (I was on deck with Maya.)

Nov. 27: My sweet little kids.

Nov. 28: Maya and her great love.

Beautiful sisters.

Dec. 12: A kiddo pile.

          Dec. 17: Elijah takes Shayna Cat for a walk.      Dec. 22: Elijah enjoying some puddle stomping.

Maya vigorously sucking on her newly found fingers.  Shayna with and in her new presents from the Solstice Fairies.